“Every Child Learns This in Their Own Time” – A Doctor’s Perspective

Toilet and potty training is one of the most common sources of stress for parents, especially when expectations are influenced by relatives, preschools, or comparisons with other children. Researches highlights that confusion around toilet training is widespread in India and reassures families that this phase should never be viewed as a measure of a child’s intelligence or a parent’s capability.

Toilet training is a developmental process, not a deadline. Children reach readiness at different times based on physical maturity, emotional regulation, and neurological development. When parents are guided to follow their child’s cues rather than external pressure, toilet training becomes a positive experience that builds confidence and independence instead of fear or resistance.

Understanding What Potty and Toilet Training Really Means

Potty and toilet training is the process of teaching a child to recognize body signals and pass urine and stools in a potty or toilet instead of nappies. This skill involves coordination between physical control, emotional awareness, communication, and motor development.

Preparation can begin early—often from the time a child starts sitting independently. Early exposure helps children understand body awareness long before nappies are fully stopped

Is There a Right Age to Start Toilet Training?

There is no fixed or “correct” age to stop using nappies. Most children show readiness between 18 months and 3 years, but healthy children may learn earlier or later.

Starting too early—before readiness—often leads to:

• - Power struggles
• - Constipation or stool withholding
• - Toileting fear or anxiety

Waiting for readiness makes training easier and more successful.

Signs That Your Child May Be Ready

Readiness is shown through behaviors, not calendars. Common signs include:

• - Awareness of peeing or pooing
• - Staying dry for 1–2 hours or more
• - Ability to sit on and get up from a potty
• - Discomfort with wet nappies
• - Interest in bathroom routines

A child does not need to show all signs to begin—what matters is willingness and comfort.

Choosing the Right Time to Begin

Potty training works best when your child’s routine is stable. It is advisable to avoid starting during:

• - Moving house
• - Arrival of a new sibling
• - Starting preschool or daycare
• - Illness or hospitalization

A calm environment allows the child to focus on learning this new skill without emotional overload.

How to Start Potty or Toilet Training Gently

Begin by observing your child’s cues—fidgeting, becoming quiet, hiding, or holding themselves. When you notice these signs, gently guide them to the potty or toilet.

Helpful approaches include:

• - Letting the child sit on the potty to become familiar
• - Using books or toys to make it comfortable
• - Avoiding repeated reminders or pressure
• - Allowing the child to decide when to try

Positive reinforcement works far better than force.

Practical Tips That Support Success

• - Keep the potty visible and accessible
• - Dress the child in easy-to-remove clothing
• - Use training pants or pull-ups initially
• - Praise effort, not just results
• - Stay calm and reassuring during accidents

Accidents are a normal part of learning and should never be punished or criticized.

Accidents, Resistance, and When to Pause

If your child resists using the potty, wets frequently, or becomes anxious, it may mean they are not fully ready. In such cases, pausing for a few weeks is often the best decision.

Signs that indicate a pause is needed:

• - Increased fear around toileting
• - Constipation or stool withholding
• - Emotional distress

Stopping temporarily does not undo progress—it often leads to better success later.

Potty Training and Preschool Consistency

If your child attends preschool, it is helpful to communicate your toilet-training approach with the staff. Most preschools are supportive and can follow a consistent method, which greatly helps the child feel secure.

Consistency between home and school builds confidence and reduces confusion.

When Toilet Training Needs Professional Support

Some children may struggle due to:

• - Developmental delays
• - Sensory sensitivities
• - Speech or communication difficulties
• - Anxiety or behavioral challenges

In such cases, a developmental and behavioral assessment helps identify underlying factors and guides a supportive, child-specific plan.

FAQs – Questions Parents Commonly Ask

When should I stop nappies completely?

Anwer: When your child shows readiness and stays dry for longer periods.

Q. Are accidents normal during training?

Anwer: Yes. Accidents are expected and part of learning.

Should I force my child to sit on the potty?

Anwer: No. Forced attempts often increase resistance.

Q. Do boys and girls train at different ages?

Anwer: Yes. Individual development matters more than gender.

Q. When should I seek professional advice?

Anwer: If toileting difficulties cause distress or persist beyond typical age ranges.